My anxiety often causes me to see the worst in this world. Being on a train I immediately think of derailing. On a boat sinking. In a movie theater … always on the look out for a possible active shooter. I Can’t do roller coasters. Plane rides make me vomit.
My mind races with all these thoughts, and my body thinks they are legitimate threats, and reacts as such. My heart starts pounding, eyes start welling up thick with tears, and I find myself hardly able to breath. It sounds just about as awful as it is. And what is almost worse, is the alarming looks of the people around me who are wondering if they should be panicking as well. My anxiety though tiring at times, is also one of my greatest assets. My anxiety forces me to CHOOSE to see the best in this world. I have to make a constant and concise decision to see the best in any situation, so that my body does not start reacting without my consent. I have to be thinking about the wonderful things and the optimistic things. It’s not an easy way of life sometimes, but it’s something that has been very important in shaping who I want to be in this world. I want to be a light, that shines through the darkness that can sometimes be the world around us. I want to help people, and show others there is good around them even when it might appear there is none. My anxiety has been one of my greatest teachers, teaching me to be kind, empathetic, and positive. But most of all it has taught me that some of the most troubling things in life can be our greatest inspiration.